Gratitude:Habakkuk 3

Habakkuk 3 17-19 

17Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, 18yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! 19The Lord my Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights!

I'm my cancer circles, I've been accused of toxic positivity. That seems to be the popular world view of choosing gratitude no matter the circumstances. It's easy to fall into that trap, especially when the world tells us we deserve more, we deserve better, and we deserve to get what we want. However, that isn't biblical. I would be choosing gratitude even if the healing wasn't coming as quickly as it is, and even if it didn't come at all. Even if there's no healing in my life, yet I will rejoice! As Shane and Shane say, "though you slay me, yet I will praise you. Though you take from me, I will bless your name."

It's easy to rejoice in the good times. It's natural to praise Jesus in the abundant blessings. It's a choice for me to rejoice and praise Him, despite my circumstances. I encourage you to do the same. 

Bing Su Treat with Renee After MDA

Monday: I had my EKG and Cardiology follow up from my cardiac arrest in the hospital, and all looked great! My heart is pumping less blood volume than before, but it is actually pumping stronger. I'm not

really sure how that works, but I'm grateful for a strong heart. We think my chest pain is lung inflammation and not the heart. If the pain doesn't go away in a few months, we'll do a CT of the heart. Thank you Renee for driving me down to MD Anderson for the visits. We got to have a little fun too! 

Before Wound Care Apt

Tuesday: I had OT to work on my hand and arm functionality and strength as well as a two and a half hour ultrasound of my neck, arms, and both legs to check the status of the blood clots. The left leg had clots from my hip down to mid thigh, and one in my left jugular. They're high risk for pulmonary embolism and stroke. They're the reason if you end up actually coming off of ECMO, the 5 year survival rate is only 36%. I was told it would take them 6 mo to a year to dissolve, but they were all gone! Not a one of them was found! I do have a newer blood clot in my right jugular though. Please pray for that one to dissolve and not cause a stroke. The ultrasound also found edema in my limbs, which anyone who has seen me clearly knows. I am all wiggles and jiggles. 😂I'm not sure what we'll do about this other than continue compression and leg elevation. I also somehow sort of had the energy to go to small group tonight. It was a blessing to be back. 

Wednesday: I had PT at home with Forge the Athlete. My therapist is so incredibly helpful and knows her stuff! She's helping me with my hand and arm far more than OT! 

After Wound Care Apt

Thursday: I had my weekly wound care appointment and had my right fingertip cut off. It is pretty painful, but I'm so grateful I didn't lose more! It is very abnormal to come off of ECMO and not lose a limb, or at least lose functionality of a limb. I just have nerve damage, necrotic tissue, and the loss of a finger tip (but the fingernail is hanging on for dear life!). Huge blessing! I'm close to wanting to restart my nerve pain meds I stopped a week after getting home, but I'm trying really hard to hold off. I've been able to cook two meals, but it still incredibly challenging and exhausting. So if anyone still wants to help, we would not turn on occasional meal away! Thank you to everyone who has provided meals and food gift cards. They've been such a blessing. My trach stoma is open again. It's just and open and shut daily game! 

Friday: no appointments? so weird. I washed my hair in the sink with the sprayer Monika got me. I got creative and put one of Justin's game processing gloves on and used my wound tape to seal it off since my finger can't get wet. Lori is taking me to a foster and adoptive moms retreat today. I'm nervous to go away, but I'm excited for the opportunity to rest and recharge with other Christian foster and adoptive mommas. Please pray for my energy, oxygen, and physical ability to be active at the retreat.  

Choose Joy!

- Lizzie